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I'm aware of the fact that no one reads this any longer. I unwillingly let this corner of cyberspace melt into nothingness like various other things that were of so much importance once upon a time. I was proud of the words I wrote. Once, I pulled a boy's dark arm toward myself, fumbled for a pen and on him scribbled the address of this little place. nur-ee.blogspot.com

I used to be so enthusiastic. Repeating and remembering words to myself. Sentences I ached to put together into some form of presentable prose.

For the three years I was in love I was a writer.

Juxt 4 U

I bought a dark chocolate KitKat, just for you, but I got hungry while waiting so I ate three fingers.

I made a stuffed toy cat, just for you, but it was so cute I kept it for myself.

I got a nice gray sweater, just for you, but winter's almost gone and I haven't seen you in two months.

*saaaaaaaad face*

It Has Been Lonely Knowing You (3)

Sometimes you just have to shut up and kill that sad, hollowing and lonely feeling inside of you for some people. Some people really are that special. Some people really do deserve to be made sacrifices for. And no matter how many times you hate them and curse at them in your head or tell yourself that you are better off without them, you really do love some people.

Sometimes they may be feeling miserable and acting stupid but you should wait patiently for them to be done being miserable and acting stupid so you can love them again and they can love you too. You should feel how they feel and stop thinking about yourself for a second, only if you love them. If you really truly love them. And you should be willing to take the risk that if even after youve been good and patient they can't come back, it doesn't mean they don't love you or that they were a jerk, it only means that somehow things just couldn't go the way you wanted and thats okay too, because a lot of times that happens too. A lot of times in life.
And always, more importantly, you should have faith in the love you feel.

So it really is quite simple if you think about it. There are some people, ones who might not be worth it, but ones we love enough to do anything for.

It Has Been Lonely Knowing You (2)

I want your light to shine on me. Even if it is a cheap string of twinkly LEDs.

Because Nur doesn't have any light left in her any more.

It Has Been Lonely Knowing You (1)

Every box of Quality Street has a small, round caramel toffee wrapped in golden. No crunchy nutty filling, no gooey strawberry or bittersweet orange center. No smooth praline. Not dipped in any milky chocolate or dark deliciousness. Purely ordinary sickly sweet, chewy caramel that always gets stuck in the teeth. By far the most unwanted candy in the collection. And the easiest to forget and never crave again.



Things feel too much like being the golden candy in the box at the moment.

It has been lonely knowing you.

It has been lonely knowing you.

It has been lonely knowing you.

So very lonely.

Too, too lonely.

Remembering You, Falling into my Arms, Crying for the Death of Your Heart

I'm sorry for not having enough belief in my heart. It wouldn't have saved us from this, but you wouldn't ever have felt betrayed or disappointed.



But you never did do the falling-in-my-arms part.

In Other Headlines This Week

Dil ab doobtee kishtiyon ka sawari ban'na nahin mangta 
Mallaah ko keh do keh ab savaar raazi nahin.

Urdu Zabaan ki Shaan Mein Aik Pehli Gustaakhi (Muaf Farmaiyega)

Meri aankhon ka tara,
Meray dil ka suqoon,
Meri ruuh ki piyaas,
Meri shama ka noor.

Meri aag si teizee,
Meri barf si jullan,
Meray dil ki bechayni,
Meri jaan ki tarap.

Meri barsaton ki barish,
Meray geet ka sargam,
Meri kuliyon ki khushbu,
Meri mehndi ka rung.

Meri chaal ki lapak,
Meri zulfon ki chamak,
Meray honton ki mehak,
Meray aasman ki dhanak.

Yeh sub kuchh mera
Lekin mein? Kisi aur ki.

You don't want to hold me back.

You Can't Cure Love

If only it were as easy as attaching locks to doors. That's not what keeps me insside.

I would have walked to you, shoes in hand when they start to pinch my toes. I would have washed and scrubbed and lotioned my feet to presentableness. I would have come to you in the heat of June, July, August. I would have the morning-after pill ready just in case. I would have come if I knew you would take me. If you would have me.

But you won't because you're so good.

On the insside you're so much better than I am.

A Day Without You Is Like A Year Without Rain