God. It just sucks so much that at almost-18 years old I believe in you as completely as a 6 year old does in unicorns and fairies. Every few days it hits me that you're not even real. Because you're not even alive.

You're not living. You're being lived.

Pyaar

Jab seh maineh tumhein dekha...

mujhe chhipkalyan bhi cute lagnay lagi hain.

Yuck thoo.

You don't mean nothing at all to me. No.


But you know what it takes to set me free.


Oh, you could mean everything to me.

A Matter Of Time Only

You broke me. 
And I'm angry at you. For living relatively normally and leaving me like this.

But I know it's not your fault. I don't blame you. Only in very weak moments. Sometimes, but that shouldn't count.


We can not break out of our fundamental human mould. The one that makes us creatures of habit, flexible and adaptive. So we will not even notice the change.

We'll tell ourselves we could never forget even if we try but we won't even notice as seemingly ordinary everyday things take up most of time. So much so, we'll think about each other once every few weeks. And then perhaps I'll become to you a girl you knew. First love.

I guess some part of me will always love you, no matter what. Forever.


 

 

):

Shopping is so totally not fun without a boy toy who pays for everything.

@$%/<#&!¿

Stupid. Shit. Love songs on the radio. Cute romantic crap on TV.

All I Really Wanted Was To Have Your Ugly, Weird-Looking

babies babies babies.

'And under our blue skies, Marble movie skies I found a home in your eyes, We'll never be apart.'

And one day we’ll decide that it’s time. Then we’ll both work hard to save enough money. We’ll spend hours with magazines, looking at pictures of bedrooms, bathtubs and kitchens. We’ll visit people’s houses for ideas. We’ll get one of our architect friends to help out.

After lots of searching, we’ll finally buy a little piece of land somewhere near where either of our parents’ live. And slowly we’ll watch as dreams turn into walls, ceilings, windows and doors. We’ll be there every step of the way; as each brick is set in mortar, as each floor is leveled, as each light bulb goes in. We’ll argue about what type of stain should go on the wood, or what faucets match the showers, or which artwork to hang on which wall. And I’ll let you win most of the time.

Once everything is complete, we’ll put life into those rooms. We’ll plant vines of romantic bougainvillea in the garden. We’ll get cute outdoor furniture to put on the terrace for when the weather will be good. We’ll throw a house warming party to share our happiness with friends and family. And we’ll remember always to thank God.

We’ll watch the children grow up, fight their little fights, keep us awake most nights of the week with all the million little things they’ll need. We’ll teach them to love and how to have fun. And when they’re at school and their teachers ask them to draw a picture of their most favourite place in the world; they too will draw a picture of our home.



I want your dreams to come true. And I want to be there with you to watch our lives unfold like beautiful paper roses.

Shahrukh, You Complete Me.

Pyaar waala meenh barsaya karo jee, kaddi saadi galli bhul ke wi aaya karo jee.

Happy Birthday! - A post about how we have grown up but are still quite stupid.

We've achieved so many of the things we set out to do when we were thirteen years old. We made mistakes; we made friends and friends who turned out to be mistakes. Either way, we felt the world around us. We opened our eyes.

We became slaves of the summer. The sunsets. The colors.

We broke hearts and felt them grow back together between our fingers. We felt slightly scared about our sexuality. We longed for the touch of a lover. We made back and forth transitional journeys from childhood to womanhood to adulthood.

And today (actually yesterday) you’ve turned 18 years old. So I wish you all the luck in the world, because it’s not easy, apparently, to go to university, to find a husband, to be married, and have huge responsibilities. At least that’s what all the older girls say. And these things aren’t as far away as they seem.

But I know you’ll do well. You’ll be a good friend, a fun wife, a cute mommy and an incredible person. And you’ll keep growing, with every passing year, you’ll look back and be proud of yourself.

White Orchid

They might take it all away. The money, the things, the remaining ounce of freedom. But I'll keep one small secret. Easiest to keep. Because your voice brought with it an idea. Perhaps you'll continue with this fight where I gave up. Where my almost-eighteen-years-old mind decided it couldn't handle more. Maybe you'll use your beautiful strength and determination to be that knight in shining armour boy coming to save his damsel in distress girl waiting atop a tall tower while her life is endangered by fire-breathing dragons who want to eat her up.

Phoenix

In all likelihood you will forget how the colours played tricks on our eyes and the dew clung to our clothes and hair under the watchful, silent stars. But if you don’t, you’ll understand one day when God will bless you with a daughter of your own. One who waits and waits all day long for you to come home from work so you’ll take her out for ice cream like you promised, and refuse to go to bed without a story. She’ll grow up. You’ll teach her about music and religion and sex, no matter how much you dread talking about the latter. She will be your entire world wrapped up in glorious glowing young skin. And you will be careful, because you don’t want that day to ever come when she might not listen to you, when the voices in her head will tell her to do exactly the opposite of everything you’ve tried to instill in her. The fear of that moment will make you understand. Understand completely.

You forgive me now, and I forgive you too. And once God forgives us both, everything will be as good as ever before.