You Can Be My Fiasco Anytime

Well, there you go. 

I don't even want to think of a day when I wouldn't have your smile to make out in the semi-dark glow of streetlights and car headlamps. 

Untitled

I'm aware of the fact that no one reads this any longer. I unwillingly let this corner of cyberspace melt into nothingness like various other things that were of so much importance once upon a time. I was proud of the words I wrote. Once, I pulled a boy's dark arm toward myself, fumbled for a pen and on him scribbled the address of this little place. nur-ee.blogspot.com

I used to be so enthusiastic. Repeating and remembering words to myself. Sentences I ached to put together into some form of presentable prose.

For the three years I was in love I was a writer.

Juxt 4 U

I bought a dark chocolate KitKat, just for you, but I got hungry while waiting so I ate three fingers.

I made a stuffed toy cat, just for you, but it was so cute I kept it for myself.

I got a nice gray sweater, just for you, but winter's almost gone and I haven't seen you in two months.

*saaaaaaaad face*

It Has Been Lonely Knowing You (3)

Sometimes you just have to shut up and kill that sad, hollowing and lonely feeling inside of you for some people. Some people really are that special. Some people really do deserve to be made sacrifices for. And no matter how many times you hate them and curse at them in your head or tell yourself that you are better off without them, you really do love some people.

Sometimes they may be feeling miserable and acting stupid but you should wait patiently for them to be done being miserable and acting stupid so you can love them again and they can love you too. You should feel how they feel and stop thinking about yourself for a second, only if you love them. If you really truly love them. And you should be willing to take the risk that if even after youve been good and patient they can't come back, it doesn't mean they don't love you or that they were a jerk, it only means that somehow things just couldn't go the way you wanted and thats okay too, because a lot of times that happens too. A lot of times in life.
And always, more importantly, you should have faith in the love you feel.

So it really is quite simple if you think about it. There are some people, ones who might not be worth it, but ones we love enough to do anything for.

It Has Been Lonely Knowing You (2)

I want your light to shine on me. Even if it is a cheap string of twinkly LEDs.

Because Nur doesn't have any light left in her any more.

It Has Been Lonely Knowing You (1)

Every box of Quality Street has a small, round caramel toffee wrapped in golden. No crunchy nutty filling, no gooey strawberry or bittersweet orange center. No smooth praline. Not dipped in any milky chocolate or dark deliciousness. Purely ordinary sickly sweet, chewy caramel that always gets stuck in the teeth. By far the most unwanted candy in the collection. And the easiest to forget and never crave again.



Things feel too much like being the golden candy in the box at the moment.

It has been lonely knowing you.

It has been lonely knowing you.

It has been lonely knowing you.

So very lonely.

Too, too lonely.

Remembering You, Falling into my Arms, Crying for the Death of Your Heart

I'm sorry for not having enough belief in my heart. It wouldn't have saved us from this, but you wouldn't ever have felt betrayed or disappointed.



But you never did do the falling-in-my-arms part.

In Other Headlines This Week

Dil ab doobtee kishtiyon ka sawari ban'na nahin mangta 
Mallaah ko keh do keh ab savaar raazi nahin.

Urdu Zabaan ki Shaan Mein Aik Pehli Gustaakhi (Muaf Farmaiyega)

Meri aankhon ka tara,
Meray dil ka suqoon,
Meri ruuh ki piyaas,
Meri shama ka noor.

Meri aag si teizee,
Meri barf si jullan,
Meray dil ki bechayni,
Meri jaan ki tarap.

Meri barsaton ki barish,
Meray geet ka sargam,
Meri kuliyon ki khushbu,
Meri mehndi ka rung.

Meri chaal ki lapak,
Meri zulfon ki chamak,
Meray honton ki mehak,
Meray aasman ki dhanak.

Yeh sub kuchh mera
Lekin mein? Kisi aur ki.

You don't want to hold me back.

You Can't Cure Love

If only it were as easy as attaching locks to doors. That's not what keeps me insside.

I would have walked to you, shoes in hand when they start to pinch my toes. I would have washed and scrubbed and lotioned my feet to presentableness. I would have come to you in the heat of June, July, August. I would have the morning-after pill ready just in case. I would have come if I knew you would take me. If you would have me.

But you won't because you're so good.

On the insside you're so much better than I am.

A Day Without You Is Like A Year Without Rain

Perfect Arrangements of Atoms

Upon every fallen eyelash, birthday candle and shooting star, the same wish.

The Monsters In My Closet

They make it so much easier to be cruel to the people I love.

"Oh Dream Maker, You Heart Breaker, Wherever You're Going, I'm Going Your Way"

Sometimes I wish I were made of sticky tac so once you got close enough you wouldn't ever get away. And even when you tried to leave, you'd always spring back to me.

It's Okay To Steal Things That Are Pretty

I can't write poetry to save myself so I steal things I like and post them here. This is from a movie. Guess which one.

It's called Milkshakes.

Daydream delusion 

Limousine Eyelash 

Oh, baby with your pretty face 

Drop a tear in my wineglass 

Look at those big eyes 

See what you mean to me 

Sweet cakes and milkshakes

 I am a delusion angel 

I am a fantasy parade 

I want you to know what I think 

Don’t want you to guess anymore 

You have no idea where I came from 

We have no idea where we’re going 

Launched in life

Like branches in the river

Flowing downstream

Caught in the current

I’ll carry you. You’ll carry me

That’s how it could be

Don’t you know me? 

Don’t you know me by now?

So boy and girl meet on a train and after roaming the streets of magical European city, learn that they are perfect for each other and together they have the most memorable night of their lives. About as typical as it gets. But sometimes typical is good. And actually a lot of us just want typical, though we can be a bit secretive about it. Typical makes sense and typical feels right. And typical, simple things are often what people remember for the rest of their lives.

Fears

I do not ever like being left alone. 

Is that really so hard to understand?

My bestest friend of over 8 years now, CrazyLady was kind enough to honour me with a blog award known as the Liebster, (a word that means 'dearest' and 'favourite' according to my German dictionary). I've had some of the most memorable crazy inside jokes at school and phone calls with her. And together we've experienced many of what we like to call 'emotional hangovers'. But what makes it most special is the fact that she's the one who got me started writing my own blog. Thanks Sheenie!

But here's the catch, to make myself worthy for the award I have to post 11 random facts about myself, then answer 11 questions that CrazyLady's asked me, then tag 11 other people and give them 11 questions that they should answer. Quite tedious but still fun. And it's summer, I've got lots of time so might as well!

Step 1: 11 Fact About Me

1. I can't wear rings. Every time I wear one I keep switching it from finger to finger and leaving it here and there and then ultimately forget it. I lost one in Pizza Hut once. And I left a very precious one in an air plane toilet. Thank God someone was kind enough to give it to a stewardess and I got it back from her later when I remembered. I guess that means I can't be trusted with any kind of engagement ring whatsoever.

2. I hate ironing with a vengeance. More than I hate all other stupid household chores combined. Besides it's totally useless; I don't see why wearing wrinkly clothes once in a while is such a problem.

3. I can make a mean lasagne. Actually I can make a mean anything. Partly credited to the treasure trove of recipes available online and partly due to my awesome cooking skills which I've been honing for years now. It's my blog I can show off, right?

4. I love Math. I'm happiest surrounded by my 3-d vectors, complex numbers, reduced row echelon matrices, differentiation and integration.

5. Eggy yellow lemon tarts from Shezan are my guilty pleasure.

6. I'm very impatient.

7. I love putting together jigsaw puzzles and have currently embarked upon my first 1000-piece adventure.

8. I have a strange inability to say names. Only of certain people, things, movies, songs. And there's no explanation behind names I can say and those I can't. I'm a lot more comfortable typing them. It's worse when someone forces me to say a certain name; then things just get awkward and strained.

9. Instead of the normal 32 teeth, I have only 28.

10. I am in love.

11. Aaaand I love dressing up for costume parties. I've done Cowgirl, 50 Cent, Vivian from Legally Blonde who was the douche-y guys Harvard girlfriend, a daakoo and an Elvisy kind of man from the 60's complete with ascot and flapper pants.

Step 2: Answers to the 11 questions


1. Your favourite song lyric and why?

That would have to be 'honey's got a booty like powpowpow, honey's got some boobies like wowohwow' from O.M.G by Usher. This song is super fun to listen to and if it was me he was talking about, I'd be the happiest woman on earth. 'Lady how you do dat make a grown man cry?' SO LOVELY.

Or it could be some lyric from either 'Deep Inside of You - Third Eye Blind' or 'Pictures of You - The Cure'. All time favourites. I am such a teenager.

2. Secret ambition in life?

To bring joy to my family happy and make up for all my brattiness.

3. Who is your best friend and why do you love her/him so much?

I'm super exited to answer this one. My best friend has the ability to make everything better, from stomach aches to pmsy hormonal manic bouts of depression. He's always the voice of reason when I'm being stupid and most of my best memories are with him. He's always making me laugh, he's smart (really good at mental arithmetic) and really cute. In a pet lizard kind of way. And really no number of words is enough to describe how wonderful he is, though I've tried many times on this blog.

But most of all he's my best friend because he believes me when I say that I'm sure there are electric eels and mugger-muchh at the bottom of the lake in Model Town Park which come out at night and bight people's legs off so they can't walk and they die before they can get home.

I owe him a lot more than a few strawberry sundaes.

If you're wondering who I've been on about, you can find him at Gravity Eyelids, though he doesn't blog much anymore. (I hope you don't mind me advertising your blog Foofie! A blow to masculinity or whatever)

I miss him so much now, dammit.

4. Most vivid memory growing up? Or, if you aren't done growing up, best day of your life?

I have a good memory (other than with school work, of course) so lots of vivid memories growing up. One that comes to mind right now, is the time I was around 6 and had my tooth pulled out by the dentist when it had been wobbling for weeks but refused to come out loose. The best part was the strawberry ripple ice cream later from the cuboid cardboard box. Back when Polka still existed.

5. Book character, or movie/TV show character if you don't read, that you can relate to the most?

This is a difficult one. Maybe the lead girl character in the movie 'An Education' because I just watched that recently. I could relate to her at times. Hey, don't judge!

6.Favourite restaurant and what's good on the menu? I swear I'm not using this as an excuse to find new places to eat. I really genuinely like to hear about food.

EASY! Fav place to eat is Zouk. Pretty fairy lights and amazing food. The best part is that it's good value for money and everything on the menu is yummy (except the fried chicken strips, which are as bland as baby food). Must go to Zouk again soon.

7.What would be your last words, ideally?

I don't think about my own death. Too scary.

8.Craziest thing you've ever done? Conversely, if you're not a crazy person or you are Sylvia Plath and the craziest thing you've done is stick your head in the oven and I don't want to know about that, most embarrassing moment?

Uhhh...Crazy. I once was crazy enough not to listen to my friend when she told me to stay away from her dog who has issues with strangers. Consequently the canine pinned me against her car and bit me on my arm. I didn't feel any pain though, but that might be because I was too busy laughing my head off at what had just happened. The tetanus shot on the other hand was a bitch.

9.Biggest celebrity, not accessible human, crush?

I'm sadly crushless. But Jay Baruchel? James Franco? Ranbir Kapoor? So nice to look at.

10. Favourite blog?

The flower child..

11. Describe yourself in a sentence, and this blog in a sentence.

Me - I'm more than just a sentence. (That's a sentence, right?)

Crazylady's blog Another Way to Avoid Reality - A step into a place we want to both run away from and stay in forever. (Lame. I hope your awesome blog can forgive me)

Step 3: 11 questions for people I shall tag


1. What's the most embarrassing nickname that has ever been given to you?

2. Have you ever been in luhrve? Trulymadlydeeply in love?

3. What one habit would you change about yourself?

4. What one dish could you eat for the rest of your life if all other food stopped existing and why?

5. One blog you enjoy reading the most. Or more if you'd like to tell.

6. Your greatest talent is...?

7. What career do you want for yourself/ What do you want to spend the rest of your life doing?

8. Do you endorse Lady Gaga-esque fashion trends? Meat dress?

9. What one item have you spent/you want to spend most money on in your lifetime?

10. Why and how did you enter bloggosphere? And have you made any good friends here?

11. You most enjoy music from what era/genre? Give examples of your favourite songs.

FINALLY Step 4: 11 wonderful bloggers I'm tagging are

1. (Ms.) Mina @ I am the master evil genius!

2. Cynthia @ 69 Mementos Of Love

3. Rahima @ It Sounds Better With A British Accent

4. That random chick person @ That Millionth One

5. Moonie @ A head, some Pain, and a little bit of Happiness

6. Mehvish Abubakar @ Journal of a Foodaholic

7. The Me @ Psych Rant

8. Tulika @ Indulgence

9. Zeebs @ Zebra Talk

10. Furqan @ Gravity Eyelids

And last but not least

11. Thoth @ Avaunt Afflatus Absurdus

SO MUCH MEHNAT! Just look at my flawless tagging despite my lack of skill with computers. You lot better leave comments unless you want me heartbroken for life.